Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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