I just made out with a guy for $7.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
