thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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