Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
