last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I have aggressive nipples.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
