found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
