ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
