Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
