I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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