Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
