this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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