What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My vagina just recognized that song.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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