You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
babies were throwing up all over the place
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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