garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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