Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
