Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
