do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
