we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
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When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
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It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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