I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
