my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
