just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
