I want to make a zoo with you.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I currently don't understand fingers.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
