True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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