...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
