it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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