Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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