escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
These tits shall not be calmed
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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