Well douche your snatch and let's go!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My bed smells like the plague
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
