I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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