you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i think i just lost a toe
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize