The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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