I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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