She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
