Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
