Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
