Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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