Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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