we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
