You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
