Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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