Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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