May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
