I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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