My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you had me at cake vodka
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
