Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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