I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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