At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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