69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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