Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
