My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
