There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
