if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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