Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
you made out with another girl for some wings
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
