i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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