no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
