I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
